This month I’m exploring some of the weird things cats do that I don’t understand even after years of living with a multitude of cats. If you have cats or have ever lived with cats, you will be able to relate to this. Here are some of my “How come’s.”
- How come cats will invariably try to trip you up regardless of how much you try to avoid the encounter? I have tripped over my cats so many times, I now walk around my house looking down at all times. These “hit and run” episodes have landed me on the floor on more than one occasion, resulting in whatever I was carrying and the cat winding up on the other side of the room. I have decided that cats are Nature’s way of making sure humans do not outlive their natural life expectancy since this is an ideal way to wind up with a busted hip!
- How come cats will keep sneaking into forbidden places when you’re not looking? You come home from work and sit down to relax, only to be interrupted by a distant sound of a forlorn, heart-wrenching howl coming from who know where. Then it hits you; you locked the stupid cat in the closet again. What I can’t understand is that this cat has explored this same closet for hours on end at least a gazillion times before. Why hasn’t she learned that nothing has changed and there’s nothing to eat or play with in there? But thinking about this logically, after having cleaned up more than one “accident” amidst my shoes, one would think that perhaps I should have learned something by now , , , to search the closet before closing the door!
- How come cats are so particular about where they throw up fur balls? This also applies to undigested food. Apparently, these items cannot be deposited upon non-porous surfaces such as ceramic tile, wood, laminate or linoleum. No indeed, they must be strategically placed in hard-to-access areas such as near or under furniture and on rugs or carpeting. Ideally, the rugs must be very expensive Orientals, and the carpeting thick-piled in white, beige, or a very pale pastel. Should any of these preferences be unavailable, any item of upholstered furniture will suffice. Of course, this dilemma could be resolved if someone would invent clear cat food that disintegrates and vanishes upon regurgitation. I suggest that slippers should be worn at all times by cat owners because bare-footed is the sure-fire way to locate the “pile” before it dries and leaves a stain.
- How come cats insist upon napping in your favorite chair? This could be in your living room, office of anywhere in the house. This isn’t too much of a problem unless you have cats the same color as your seat cushions, which have reportedly caused some heart attacks in those who didn’t look before they sat down. Cats will also become very belligerent if asked to share the seat and will not forgive you for throwing them out unless a treat is involved.
- How come cats stare? I have one cat that constantly sits and stares under furniture. When she’s not staring under the grandfather’s clock, she’s staring under the refrigerator. I have dug out the flashlight and lay on the floor a number of times trying to see what the heck she’s staring at but have found nothing to date. Living here in the “Land of roaches you can ride,” this understandably makes me CRAZY! But that’s not as bad as my cat Jada who occasionally stares at walls. I’ve watched her and wondered if perhaps she’s seeing a gnat or some tiny ant that I can’t see. Then it occurred to me that maybe she’s hearing something I can’t hear. I cut the bottom out of a plastic cup and listened with it up against the wall in hopes that it might amplify the sound but couldn’t hear anything. I even took my drop light up into the attic to see if there was something scurrying around up there, to no avail. I’ve come to the conclusion that older people do not really just become senile with age; they are driven insane by their cats!
- How come cats insist on winding around your ankles if you stand still for more than a minute or two? I had a rather embarrassing moment at the doctor’s office recently. He was checking my ankles for swelling, and said to me, “You have a cat, don’t you,” to which I replied, “No, I have five of them. How did you know?” “You have fur all over the bottom of you slacks” was his reply. The first thing that occurred to me was that perhaps he thought I hadn’t worn clean clothes to my visit. But then he eased my concerns by telling me that he had adopted five feral cats and has a dog that weighs more than I do. I immediately knew that this guy was a real “KEEPER!”
Regardless of their eccentricities and faults, this article was written with tongue-in-cheek and I want you to know that I dearly love my fur children. They are my friends, my companions and the beautiful little things that make the big ugly things in life bearable.
Quoting Anatole France, “Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened.” How undeniably true!
Until next time… Allie
